I have a closet in my mind that I have used to protect my heart And with each unbearable life experience Determined to push forward and go on To persevere and to rise above I’ve thrown what I couldn’t face to the side For life hardly seems to lend me the time and opportunity to really deal To fully heal To piece together a complete meal That will sustain me And so, I cope the best way I’ve known how By tossing what I couldn’t process And neglecting what I couldn’t digest Into this closet And at first, it wasn’t so bad Everything neatly contained and out of the way I pushed forward and went on I persevered and I rose above I even found a way to love Despite the fear and pain that were hidden within This closet But left unattended to, except for further contributions to The closet became a jumbled mess of emotions And every time I set out to clean and organize the disheveled space It seemed almost an impossible task to face And so, I closed the door once again Determined to shine and win To achieve in spite of But life never slowed down enough And before I knew it, the closet was no longer sufficient To contain all that I wanted to put in it And with each new experience and painful situation I found myself struggling to close the door After an avalanche of unresolved issues Spilled out of the closet Yet, I’d somehow find a way to manage to get it all back in there If only I could leave it shut If only people would just do right If only everyone I loved, loved me back, in equal measure If only what I was trying to contain in the closet Didn’t continue to surface and show itself outside But it did And it does Unfortunately, I can no longer open that closet door Without everything I’ve thrown inside spilling out And this closet in my mind no longer protects my heart Overwhelmed, I become As I take in this mess that I’ve essentially created for myself Without the slightest idea of how to begin to clean it up But I must With the full knowledge and awareness that because I haven’t When new painful experiences happen I can’t even tell what I’m responding to anymore Love keeps no record, yet I’m steady keeping score Of everything that has ever hurt me in my life And I’m tired So item by item, I will deal with this closet in my mind And piece by piece, I will heal until I’m able to find The strength to leave the door open Do less fearing and more hoping Continue my constructive coping Storing those valuable lessons But tossing the hurt I associate with them I must go back so I can go forward With Sankofa inked on my skin I’m still determined to shine and win To achieve, in spite of Life never slowing down enough for me to clear the closet I will Heal.