Confessions of a Single Mother: Episode 1 - I DID THAT!

As much as I'm ALL for teaching kids responsibility through chores, housework, and picking up after themselves, I'll be honest...sometimes, I just rather do the cleaning myself.  There is something to be said for kids learning to clean, but that in no way dimishes the greatness of the job getting done CORRECTLY, the first time, without yelling and unnecessary attitudes, and in a fraction of the time.  One of the reasons I love those rare Saturdays when the boys are with their fathers is not because I'm anxious to go out partying and hang out.  I'm excited about having the house to myself, to clean in peace and quiet.  Over the years, I've learned to appreciate video games that boys can play for hours upon hours because there are those occasions when I'd rather they just stay out of the way and let me clean. Today was one of those days.

Warren spent the weekend at his father's house, so it was just me and the Age.  When we came home from church, I ate, talked with a friend, and took a much needed nap. Upon waking, I found him as he was when I layed down to nap:  on the computer playing on pbskids.org.  And I thought to myself, "while he's happy, content, and occupied, this would be a great time for me to tend to downstairs."  I put on my Pandora station and quickly went to work!

About 20 minutes later, AJ comes downstairs, noting the progess that I'd already made, "did you do this by yourself?"  I responded to the affirmative.  And much to my surprise, he OFFERED to help! When I told him that I didn't need any help and he could just keep playing on the computer, he responded, "but I WANT to help".  ***jaw drops***  How can I say no to this???  So I asked him to take the stuff that was on the steps and put them in the rooms in which they belong.  I only had to say this once.  And in a matter of 5 minutes, he'd completed the task and came back to ask what he could do next.  He then Windex'ed the glass tables in the living room, dusted the TV, and cleaned the toilet and sink in the powder room.  And I have to admit, he did an EXCELLENT job on the toilet.  I had never asked him to clean the toilets before, but apparently, he's been listening and taking notes as I've showed Warren how to clean them.  The pride of my responsible, caring, and thoughtful 4 year old was welling up in my chest.

And we were JAMMIN'!  My Pandora station was blasting out hit after hit, and I caught him doing his little beatboxing to "Nuthin But a G Thang".  He is SUCH a cool kid!  Then PYT came on and he comes out of the bathroom asking if we could play the MJ Experience when we finished cleaning.  I asked him how did he know that it was Michael Jackson and he said "because he sounds like Michael Jackson."  As I was hit one moment after another with this pride and joy of this child I am raising, it hit me:  I DID THAT!

As a single mother, one of the things that worries me is if my children will grow up feeling as loved as kids with both parents in the home, if they will grow into strong, responsible, and loving men without the proper male role model in their daily lives, if they will break the cycle.  And even though they are only 9 and 4, I am constantly seeing the fruit of my labor.  It's not right that a woman (or a man for that matter) should have to raise a child or children alone. It's TRULY a job of TWO.  A full-time one!  But the reality for many single parents is all of the responsibility of raising and REARING falls on the shoulders of one who is also limited, flawed, and imperfect.  It's harder than many of us let on, especially to the other parent.  But truthfully, bi-weekly or monthly visitations over the weekend do NOT count as parenting.  I hate to step on any toes here, but if you only see your child once or twice a month, you are not being an active parent. And nor can you take any credit for the awesomeness that is being put into and being drawn out of your child(ren).

I know that most mothers would argue with me, but:  I HAVE THE ***BEST*** KIDS IN THE WORLD!  My kids are smart, kind, loving, funny, cool, and just all-around AWESOME!  Surely, genes have played a role in who they are.  But as I look back on all of the talks, lectures, and punishments...every sacrifice, everything I have done for them, every moment I have shared with them, and every prayer I have prayed over them....counts!  My labor is not in vain and I'm excited about their futures. 

Before, I would be hesitant to take any claim or credit for how my kids have turned out or how they will turn out. But, they ARE learning and growing under my guidance, instruction, and discipline.  I'm the one that is instilling values in them and molding their character.  Even when I don't feel like it and even in the moments I don't realize it, I'm setting an example for them.  And I realize that in an attempt to NOT hurt anyone's feelings, I have not given myself the credit that I am due.  My kids are awesome because I am an awesome mother.

When they graduate top of their class, attend the college of their choice on full scholarships, lead their families in faith and prayer, love and support their children, be honest, faithful, and supportive husbands to their wives, and live lives that will not only ensure their ongoing happiness but also make me very proud, I will be able to stand TALL and say, " I DID THAT!"

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